Dear Diary
by DarkRoseRaven
Summary: This is all from Ravens piont of view. It is two journal entries from her perspective, about her feelings on Beastboy, love and first kisses. Tell me if I should write another chapter. Please Review!
1. First Kisses and Karaoke

**_Dear Diary,_**

_**I wish could understand this feeling more closely. Everytime I get around Beastboy I start to lose that feeling of sadness that always hangs over me. I feel happy and calm yet at the same time nervous. WHY is HE making me nervous? Starfire says it is because I am in love with him. I am afraid to believe her though I know that what she says is true. I do not understand how I can possibly be in love with him. I know he loves me to. He has told me several times and poor BB, I always turn him down evertime he asks me out. The team is going out to a club later. BB will probably ask me to be his date again. I want to say yes, I want to give in to what my heart wants so badly but I am afraid. I am afraid to love and to let somebody love me. If only I could be happy like Starfire is with Robin and BeeBee(BumbleBee) is with Cyborg. Watching my friends go on dates, have romantic evenings, fight, then kiss and make up, it kills me. BB loves me I love him, shouldnt be simple? I guess I do not trust anyone with my heart anymore. It has been broken so many times. I do trust BeastBoy, but it is scary, giving up your heart to someone. I suppose thats what love is, to be vunerable, to risk everything you have for have someone that you care for. I have to do it. Tonight at the club Ill tell him. If love is really so wonderful as Star says then I am going to risk it. I will tell BB that I love him. I promise I will tell him tonight!**_

**_Dear Diary,_**

_**The most wonderful thing happened tonight at the club! First of all I would like to say I learned that BB can sing and I mean that boy can blow! But the club we went to had kareoke( I have no idea if that is spelled right but my computer does not have spell check. Sorry) and BB sang this song called "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse Mccartney and he dedicated it to me! Beast Boy said he loved me in front of everyone in the club. He yelled (I LOVE RAVEN!) right into the microphone! I cannot believe it! And the best part is that I said I love you right back to him. He almost fainted from shock. Cy really did faint from shock. Only Starfire was not suprised. And then BB kissed me! That boy, in front of all our teamates and BumbleBee, he kissed me. I am so glad he did though. I had never had a real true kiss before and it was the most amazing feeling in the worl! I felt calm but nervous, scared but safe, wild but sane, and it was like magic! No wait, it was not like magic, it was magic! I HAVE BOYFRIEND! I dont think I have ever been so happy in my life. I cant believe BB kissed me! Starfire was right. I am madly, crazily, dangerously, hopelessly in love with Beastboy. But finally, now that I really have him, I truly feel happy, I feel like I found something I had been missing. I feel so loved. I finally feel complete **_


	2. Bad Days, Shopping Trips and First Dates

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**Well today was not exactly fun. And by the way I am using "not fun" as a major understatement. First I got woken up by a lot of screaming coming from the kitchen. It turned out to be that BB and Cy were once again fighting over what to have for breakfast. At four in the morning. Boys have no concept of time in this tower. As usual it was tofu vs. meat. I probably should have sided with BB since he is my BF but I really prefer to stay out of their verbal food fights. Then they started a real food fight. Cy threw a piece of raw steak at BB because BB called Cy a " meat obssessed metal brained pieces of scraps from a junk yard" And that made Star go into a fit of hysterical laughter which as you may have guessed did not help. Finally, I had to stop the food fight by levitating BB and Cy into the air. Right as I was about to tell them of for acting so immature when all of our communicaters went of telling us we had to go and stop The Hive from taking over an the under water world of Atlantis. We had to get help from Aqua Lad which BB really did not like because he remembered the Star and me used to have crushes on him. I think BB was trying to show me he could control his temper because ha was unsually nice to AL. It took us about 3 hours to get the Hive to surrender. And then, right as we had gotten back to the tower, we had to go all the way back to Atlantis because Star left her purse in an Atlantis coffee shop. She really is the sweetest girl youll ever meet but she is a bit of a ditzy girl. Well Im giong to bed now. This has officialy been the worst and longest day of my life. I do have a date with BB tomorrow to look forward to.**_

**_ Dear Diary,_**

**_Today turned out a lot better than yesterday. Since today was my date with BB, Star wanted to take me out shopping. I said okay (against my better judgement I might add) but really I was dreading this. The last time Star took me shopping she dressed me all up in a bright orange mini skirt, a bloodred tank top with blue sparkles and lime green boots that came up to my knees. I shudder to think what she would try to get me into this time. Suprisingly, it turned out okay and I had a lot of fun with Star. At first we just tried on the most ridicuous outfits we could find just for fun of course. Then I picked out this cute black spagetti strap dress that came to my knees. I also got a pair of black stillettos which are a type of strappy high heels that Star liked and said I should get. She has a pair of pink ones but I am not wearing pink. She also had me get these small diamond studs. I think it looked very sophisticated. And hot. Okay did I really just write that I looked hot! Who am I and what have I done with Raven? Star says( as usual she had some advice for me. I cannot believe I depend on a ditzy alien for advice. But she is like a sister to me so I trust her.) Anyway, Starfire says that because I have BF I have more confidence so I am wanting to look as good as I feel. And Ill tell you, I feel good, and I looked it to. The date went really well. When I came out of Stars room, BB was waiting for me in the living room and I swear he almost fainted when he saw me! I really enjoyed the date as I have said already. We went to this big carnival called " The Festival of City Lights". It was quite like the state fair. We went on several rides, some scarier than other. I think BB is afraid of heights of something beacause the Drop Tower seemed to terrify him. I rode it but he sure as hack wouldnt. He did get on the Ferris Wheel though. It was very romantic, the veiw and all. He even won me a fluffy and rather cute sky blue stuffed animal called a Care Bear. Alright that is officialy the first time in my life that I have called a teddt bear "cute". Still, that is what it is. Something really has changed in me since I became BBs girlfriend. I cant tell exactly what it is, but I can tell its very good. All in all, I had a great night._**


	3. Stars Letter and Goodbye for Now

_**Dear diary,**_

_**Today was horrible! I cannot believe everything that happened in just one day! It started off in the afternoon at about 1:30 when we got a call saying that Terra was attacking the city under Slades orders. Of course as soon as Robin heard it had something to do with Slade he flew off the handle, as he always does when something has to do with Slade. Robin is like a brother to me but he needs to get a grip! If Robin would control his emotions and feelings a bit better( that must sound odd coming from me of all people!) then he would have a better chance of winning. He gets so determined to beat out Slade that he causes himself to lose. Anyway, we rushed out to the city in Cyborgs prized T-car, or rather we tried to rush out ( we broke down on the highway.) So then I had to levitate everyone exept Star who flew of course, to the crimescene. It was horrible. Part of the city was burning, it was smoky and hard to see, people were running and screaming, and in the middle of it all, aiming large rocks at citizens was Terra. As soon as she saw us she got that wicked smile on her face. That smile that says " you know you cannot win, so why bother?" I hate her! I know it is wrong to hate, but Terra has to be an exception. She aimed a large piece of a building right at me but I was able to block it. Barely. Robin ran right at her with his little staff but she broke it in half. I repaet, today was horrible. The worst of it was that Terra got away. When we got back to the Tower Robin exploded at Star. He was yelling that it was her fault Terra got away. I feel bad for the poor girl but from a certain point of view it was her fault. It happened like this, Cy and BB were kocked out, Terra started to run away but Robin grabbed her arms so she could not move but she was putting up quite a struggle. Starfire, who only wanted to help Robin, aimed a Starbolt at aTerra but she did not aim well and she hit Robin instead. Thats how Terra escaped. I know that Robin loves Star but he needs to remember that she is quick to tears. After the yelling was over, BB, Cy and I talked to Robin, and he agreed to apologize to Star if we went with him. We all went down to Stars room, after an hour of helping Robin decide what to say to her. I went in first but she was not there. I called in Cy, BB, and Rob and we all got the shock of a lifetime. Her window was wide open and on the windowsill was a note that I have taped here in my Diary. Here it is :**_

**_My Dearest Friends,_**

_**I wish for all of you to know that I will miss all of you, and love you all forever. I have made the decision to withdraw myself from the Teen Titans and return to my homeworld of Tamaran. Earlier today I recieved a message from Tamaran saying that my mother, Queen Blazefire has deceased. My homeworld has a monarchy government and therefore, since I am Blazefires daughter, I must become the next Queen. I am sorry to leave you all my friends but my world needs a Queen. It is my duty to return. Please understand that this has nothing to do with anything against you all but I must fullfill the duty that was guven to me. Obviously, Blackfire is not suitable Queen so I am taking on that roll. I will miss you all dearly, and no matter what happens, I will love you forever Robin, and my wonderful friend Raven, you will always be a sister to me. Goodbye, my darling friends.**_

_**I was shocked. It is hard to believe that my closest friend is gone. And that letter sounded nothing like our Starfire, it sounded so much more machure and grown up than the Star I met. Perhaps I will see her again someday. I no longer have the will to write anymore. I do not know why but I feel so different now. So strange without my sister-friend. I am 15 now. Maybe I will continue my writing at the next stage in my life. I vow to write again when that time comes. Goodbye for now my Dear Diary.**_

**AUTHORS NOTE: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted it to be a bit more emotional than the others. I do hope it was not depressing though. I WILL BE WRITING MORE! This chapter may have sounded as if Raven had stopped writing forever but that is not the case. The next chapter takes place when Raven is older and has a family. ENJOY!**


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